Salamanca

Let's learn about where I'm going!

I didn't realize how super close Salamanca was to Portugal, which kind of makes me excited.  My knowledge of all things Portuguese is well, nothing.  I'm curious to see how much their culture and language has had an affect on my city.  

Salamanca is also very close to Madrid, which is AWESOME.  My dad and I went to lunch at Trattoria Centrale today and as we were eating our delicious meals (I'm totally in love with that place), he mentioned that Spain has a good high-speed train system.  Hopefully that'll put me in easy connection to Madrid.

Salamanca is considered one of the most spectacular Renaissance cities in Europe (Yes, I am getting all this info from Wikipedia.  Who wouldn't?) and apparently Christopher Columbus lectured there?  And Hernán Cortés took classes there too?  Holy crap.

The average high is 60 degrees in April.  I can deal with that.  

The classic Salamancan dish is called charreria, a baked casserole made with garbanzo beans.  I like garbanzo beans.  Hornazo also sounds good, which is a pie often eaten after Lent is over.  Cuchifrito is common in Castilla y León (the autonomous community where Salamanca is located), which is a meat dish served with olive oil, rosemary, vinegar, basil, etc.  All good things.

PRIMAVERA SOUND: May 27th-29th

SOMEBODY COME TO SPAIN AND GO WITH ME CAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO KNOW ANYONE.  Please.  This will change.  your.  life.

Check out the line-up:

http://www.primaverasound.com/ps.php?seccion=cartel&idioma=en

Good, right?  I'm mainly interested in the 28th and 29th, for Dr. Dog, Yeasayer and Beach House.

That's all for now.  I gotta go to sleep.

buenas noches

3 a.m. thoughts

So I awoke at midnight and haven't fallen back asleep yet, as I so often do on nights before I have to open at work (be there at 5:30 in the a.m.).  Bobo, I know you were trying to be quiet while preparing your midnight feast, but you just can't control the noise level of the microwave.  I'm shaking my fist in the direction of your room.

Anyway, whenever I'm just lying in bed wishing myself to sleep, my brain kicks into overdrive and I start thinking about everything that's going on in my life.  I analyze, contemplate, worry, et cetera until my brain finally decides to chill out.  Lately my brain has been focusing on my impending 2.5 monthslongscaryforeign adventure.  Ohhh man, my stomach just did that weird drop flip thing when you think about something that makes you CRAZY nervous.  

If for some reason you don't know what I'm talking about (which I doubt because a total of like 5 people read this), I'm going to study at the University of Salamanca in Spain from April 5-June 11.  This will be my third summer in a row to leave the country.  There are people twice my age whose most exotic adventure was a weekend cruise to Cozumel, so I feel extremely privileged.  I know this trip will be life-changing and will be such an amazing experience and if I didn't go I'd regret it yadda yadda yadda, but I'm still a bit terrified.  Yeah, it's exciting, but after the first week I'm afraid I'll realize I still have over 2 months of living in Spain, completely alone, where I have to speak Spanish and make friends with people who maybe don't speak my native language.  My return to American soil is what I'm most looking forward to.  Is that bad?  

There are some other things I am definitely looking forward to:  

-Spanish food- paella, chorizo, horchata

-Spanish shopping- I hope they have awesome thrift stores

-*Spanish guys- what?

-*Primavera Sound Festival in Barcelona- Dr. Dog, Yeasayer, Beach House.  Who could ask for more?

-Side trips to Madrid, Portugal, the Basque region

*= tentative

I'm trying to focus on the exciting things so I don't psych myself out too much.  What I keep thinking to myself is that in 3 months this will all be over and I'll be back home to my friends and family and the latter half of summer.  My fall school semester is looking promising, too.  I'm taking German, Cultural Anthropology, Astronomy lab, Geography and of course Spanish.  I'm also super stoked about being able to ride my new bike to class this coming semester.

T minus 21 days.

Isn't it weird the 'b' in doubt is silent?

Disclaimer:

I watched "The Last Kiss" the other day.  Enough said.

I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships.  The romantic kind.  My past relationships obviously didn't work and didn't need to work out, and I'm glad they're over and I'm glad they happened because of what I learned about myself and what I want.  But I get so discouraged when I hear of so many marriages ending in divorce, with children involved, with pasts, with good times and memories and feelings and habits and romance.  

I'm becoming a realist in my thoughts about love.  The idea of a soul mate didn't make it very far with me, even when I was young and still obsessed with NSYNC.  If you really think about it, nearly any two people can be successful together if both are truly willing to work for it.  If both are dedicated and have the patience and desire to go the distance with one person.  I'm sure there are hundreds of guys I could potentially be successful with, but I'm most likely going to end up with someone that is from the same area of the world as I am, probably from the same state, maybe even the same city.  For me that thought totally sucks the magic out of love.  

And what is love, really?  Is it dedication to a single person?  Is there anything physical involved, or is that just what sparks the initial interest?  I wish I spoke a language that has multiple words for the different types of love, because I feel we generalize it.  It's just a word, a blanket word that covers all these very different emotions.  How am I supposed to figure out if I truly love a guy?  Am I supposed to miss him when he's away from me?  Am I supposed to hurt if he were to leave me?  Because that just sounds like I'm used to his presence, that he has become part of my life.  I've been single for a while now and I don't really experience much hurt or pain.  So do I even need anyone?  If I'm doing just fine by myself, why mess it up?  Why take yet another risk with a guy that could potentially have a successful relationship with hundreds of other girls?  

I get very discouraged when I think about the pain I felt when my past relationships ended.  It sucked so bad.  I felt like half a person for months.  I had lost myself, and was forced to rediscover who I was.  I don't think I've ever felt true love, because I think that if I had then I'd be missing the person I felt it for, but I don't miss any one.  If it was love, then it faded.  And if love can fade after a relationship ends, why can't it fade during a relationship?  I think it can.  And that scares me.  

I don't ever want to hear someone tell me "You just know."  That just sounds like a load of delusional fairy tale garbage.  

What about trust?  How will you know when your significant other is being honest or dishonest with you?  Blind trust.  Wise trust?  I don't know.  I have an issue with trust because I'm paranoid that I'm being duped.  And paranoia like that will most definitely sabotage a relationship.  I know from experience.  

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

This is me, ranting.

Has anyone tried honey bunches of oats with cinnamon clusters?  SO good.

rezzylooshunz

Stream of consciousness that happened today:

I looked up at my calendar and realized I still have 2009 up, which led to remembering it's 2010 and January, which led to thinking what kind of calendar I want to buy this year, which led to thinking about how people make resolutions for the new year, which led to my thinking that I should maybe make some.  

Okay, so I have a few different ideas of what I can instate as Caitlin's 2010 Resolutions.  I've never really been into the whole resolution idea, but now seems as good a time as any to start.

First and foremost, I want to start reading more.  It seems I'm always too busy to do any pleasure reading, thanks to work and obligatory school reading.  I've got a couple of ideas for books I want to read but would appreciate some more, so please feel free to suggest.  I enjoy fiction.  

Anybody want to start a book club?

This is totally cliché, but I want to get into shape.  I haven't really thought a whole lot about this one yet, but I know I want to do it.  That counts, right?  Running interests me, as well as biking and hiking.  Unfortunately I don't have a good bike.  And I really want to start rock climbing, but that seems to require actual skill that I probably don't possess.  And good lord it's SO cold outside that I'm almost deterred from any outdoor activity aside from running to my car.  I think I basically just talked myself out of all those ideas.

COOK.  I'm tired of always going out to eat for nearly every meal-but it's just so easy, ya know?  We college students ain't got a lotta dough, so I need to quit spending so much money on food that isn't good for me.  Cooking is fun and the result is rewarding.  And tasty.  I've also decided to not eat as much red meat.  I mean, I looove me some red meat, but if I can eat something else that's just as delicious and less taxing on my digestive system, why not?  Veggie burgers are yummers.  Maybe I'll allot myself one splurge a week.  

That's all I've thought of so far.  I think I'll go cook something healthy and read.

Adiós 2009

Seeing as 2009 has indeed come to a close, I feel the need to document my activities and retrospective sentiments about this year.  Also, lately I've wanted to start keeping a journal of some sort--just to vent/reflect/what have you.  So those are my reasons for this, my first attempt at blogging.  My apologies for any comma splices or sentences ending in prepositions.

When reviewing my past year, I can't help but compare how I feel now to how I felt exactly one year ago.  My emotions were all over the place then; but now I feel much more stable and consistently happy.  I guess there are a lot of reasons for this change, and I'm going to list them, for organization's sake and just because I like making lists.

-New job

Working at Starbucks has been an adventure.  Making drinks for people is much more rewarding than selling toys, which is what I had been doing for two years.  Don't get me wrong, there have been many times I've wanted to chunk 20 ounces of 200 degree coffee at a customer, but overall it has made me stronger and I know I've grown from it.  Starbucks has tested my limits, and I'm proud to say I've survived the challenge.

-Good friends

Of course I've gotta give a shout out to those whose company I so enjoy.  There are some amazing people in my life that I am so lucky to call my buddies.  I have felt very fulfilling connections to my close friends and I wouldn't trade their friendship for anything.

-Loving parents

I've realized the immeasurable importance of someone you can call at any time.  My mom is ALWAYS there for me; to take me to lunch, offer unfailing advice, or just to stay on the phone with me while I cry (or yell).  My dad is probably the most singular man I know.  He doesn't conform to anything unless he truly likes or enjoys it, and I love him so much for that fact.  He is an amazing, well-respected mechanic and has never let our family down.  I am so grateful that my parents love each other enough to have stayed together.  My life would be so much different if it weren't for their example.

-Independence

This may seem silly to some people, but I've proved to myself that I don't need no man in my life to make me happy.  I am perfectly capable of keeping myself happy.  Darn straight.  That is all I shall say on the subject.

-Music

Another one that may not seem very important, but music has definitely pulled some emotions out of me lately that I didn't know were there.  Imagine: It's warm, sunny, I'm walking to class and have Fleet Foxes blaring on my iPod.  That's some genuine happiness right there.

-iPhone

Self-explanatory.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summer '09

I want to talk a bit about this past summer, or as I've been calling it, the Life Changing Summer.  The beginning of summer marked the start of my new job, which meant meeting new people, adapting to new rules and stress levels, and just overall change.  I also went to Europe for a month, which definitely had an impact on my life.  During this trip I was forced to be around people I would've rather not been around.  I won't go into detail, but laaawd there were times the Italian sunset just didn't quite make up for it.  Despite that unfortunate facet of the trip, it was wonderful to stay with the Degenhardt family in the beautiful city of Münster and sing in so many beautiful churches and cathedrals.  I'm so grateful for that opportunity, especially when I think of how many people have never been out of the country.

The next aspect of my summer is a little difficult to enunciate.  Losing my only sibling has been one of the most confusing battles I've faced yet.  Not only do I miss Corey, but I absolutely hate thinking that I'll never get to see him overcome the problems he had.  I'll never see him get married or become a father, and I know without a doubt he would have been such a great daddy.  He and I will never get to talk about how senile our parents are becoming.  

I just have to remind myself that he's gone.  It's been easy to push it to the back of my mind and just let myself get caught up in my busy life, but sometimes it sneaks up on me and takes over for a bit.  I didn't think I would have to deal with something this momentous for years, so it was very strange for me to go to my own brother's funeral and be hugged by all of these people I hadn't seen since I was 12.  I guess I kind of felt like I was going through the motions, just doing everything that's expected of someone who just lost a loved one.  I appreciated everyone telling me, "Really, if there's ANYTHING you need, don't hesitate to call", but I mean, come one, I've talked to you like twice in the past year.  Do you seriously think I'm going to call you in the middle of the night when I'm crying?  From my personal experience, there's really nothing that anyone can say.  Really.

So I guess that's all I wanted to say.  I've gotten down all of the thoughts that have been swarming around for a while.  Maybe I ended on a downer, but hey, this is my blog, I do what I want.  Doing this has given me some perspective, and that's why I did this in the first place.  Here's to hoping 2010 will be another year of growth and happiness.

Did I mention I'm going to Spain soon?

Happy new year, y'all.

-cait